Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I am compelled...

I have always loved to express myself through the written word. I have a couple dozen journals, starting with little kid handwriting and many misspelled words. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts and gain perspective of a situation. Writing helps me hear what God is telling me because my pen will start flying across the paper, or my fingers across the keyboard, as He reveals a truth to me. Sometimes it's a new truth, and other times, He gets my attention with something I've heard my whole life but previously didn't have experience to practically apply it.

It is my deepest desire to glorify God through how I react to the awesome, the good, the awful, and the devastating life circumstances that we can all face. I also seek to glorify Him in my written and verbal words, and in my actions. There are moments I monumentally fail and my human nature wins over the Spirit of God inside me. But I pray those times are fewer and farther between as I strive to daily give control of my life to my Father, knowing that can lead to quite a winding path. I don't have a professional goal for five years from now that I'm striving to reach. Whatever I'm doing, I want to honor Him with my work, my attitude, my time, my finances, and words, my actions and even my thoughts.

I cannot keep from writing anymore - I am compelled to do it. For a couple years now, the Holy Spirit has been calling me to write. Sometimes it was sheer laziness that prevented me. Most times, it's been fear that I wasn't holy enough, smart enough, scholarly enough or interesting enough for anyone to listen. I also don't want any skewed version of God's truth to come from the enemy through me and steer someone in the wrong direction: God makes it clear in scripture that He'll hold people accountable for leading others astray. While I am still keenly aware of those reasons, I now believe I am to the point of disobedience to my Father by not sharing things He's put on my heart.

I ask for your prayers as I write - this is a very daunting step for me to take. Maybe it's because some trusted people in my life have criticized me in very cruel ways before. Maybe it's because I feel so unworthy and unqualified to be a mouthpiece for God. Maybe it's because I don't want to hurt feelings or step on toes. But, as I get closer to God, my heart aches over the things that grieve the heart of God. I cringe at the way our society and families don't understand or know God's Word and how life-changing it can be if they apply His principles to their everyday lives.

Some of what I write will simply be therapeutic for me, and hopefully for anyone else who reads it. But I also have a list of topics to tackle that are issues I believe God is calling me to stand up for or against. While I am a grammar geek, I'm sure my spelling and grammar won't be flawless, as content will be more important to me than perfection, and I may be so eager to share that I press the publish button a little too quickly. So I ask you to look past those mistakes to the deeper issues.

I know writing is part of my purpose on this earth, so information on this blog, and even comments by readers, will very likely be used for a book or song in the future. I would ask for your prayers and constructive critiques. Please be respectful in your comments, even if your viewpoint differs from mine. And, by all means, please share scripture that comes to your heart as you read about a certain topic. I'll start on actual topics as they come to me. For now, I leave you with one of my favorite scriptures:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on Me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."  -- Jeremiah 29:11-12